no more truth...

So big thanks to Shawn & Marilyn for telling us the "real story". Nothin' like scaring us so early in the pregnancy. I knew that the hospital stay was short but I never realized it was so short. We're hoping for later in the day now. The McNeil's (all of them) are convinced that we are having a boy. I guess we'll see if Miss Libby is correct.

The Xmas vacation is almost over and I haven't accomplished most of what I wanted. I'm still super tired. I thought maybe I could catch up on some sleep this past week but I guess I was wrong. I've been sleeping in all week but haven't had a chance to nap at all. Although, if it wasn't for all this work I brought home, I could nap right now. When I woke up this morning, I felt like crap. I could have gone back to sleep.

I've been trying to teach myself to sleep on my side but I pile the pillows around me and a couple hours I wake up on my back, then I re-arrange the pillows and move to the other side and again, a couple hours later I wake up on my back. Marilyn says not to worry because when I get bigger I won't be able to sleep on my back and I'll just stay on my side. She also said that I shouldn't worry because really I would be so uncomfortable in any position that I will only be sleeping for a couple of hours at a stretch. Well, actually she said an hour. At that point, I asked her to stop talking to me.

I'm wondering if I'll be able to button my dress pants on Tuesday. I've been wearing stretch pants or pj pants all week, and frankly it's been awesome. A cornucopia of awesomeness. (must be said with Cape Breton accent)

Update: 659pm

Well, I slept from about 2 - 430pm. I still feel out of sorts. I've got a headache. Missed the visit from the McDonald family. They stopped by, I feel badly but I don't think that I could have sat up, awake & all that.

Sort of finished my work. I still need to input into the database but if push comes to shove I can do that on Tuesday. I want to drive into the office tomorrow and drop all this paper off so I won't have to break my back carrying it in on the train.

Am waiting for Steven to come home. He went to pick up Chinese food for supper. Yum. Then we'll watch The Polar Express. ROCK ON! Yeh, that's right, we're going to party like the rock stars that we are.

Loose Ends

We bought a sweet TV on Boxing Day. I still can't believe we ventured out. The stores were ridiculously crowded, parking was awful but Steven got to use the 4x so he was happy. I'm not sure what Rye is watching but with him in front you can get a good idea on how big the TV is.

So, I think we've told everyone (family & friends). I still can't reach Stacey but I sent her the blog link so, she should know soon. We'll be seeing Shawn & Marilyn tomorrow night so we'll tell them, not sure how but it's up to Steven. I had a dream that Marilyn was pregnant too, Steven told me to call and tell them and let him know how long they laughed at me. Steven called his sisters "aunt", to see how long it would take for them to catch on. He called Helen "grandma". He told Linda to call Brenda to get the news but Brenda, the bugger told Linda that "she didn't know what Steven was talking about". Heh, and she was the one that told us not to tell Linda! After talking with Bruce mutliple times, he finally called him at work this morning and told him. He wanted to tell him face-to-face but it was getting impossible to arrange anything so rather than not tell him at all, he just did the old "knocked her up" stand by.

Ed drove up this afternoon for a visit, he tried yesterday but the roads were so horrible that he turned back around Black Falls (sp?); we tried to convince him to turn off and call Brenda but he decided to drive back to Edmonton and try again today. He said there were alot of cars in the ditch.

They're out at Nolan's tonight. I dropped them off but I told them that I wasn't coming to pick them up; more than likely I'll be asleep when (or if) they come home.

I'm so tired. I just made up the spare bed, fluffed our feather bed and I'm totally short of breath, man am I ever out of shape. It's pathetic. I've been walking on the treadmill but I can't seem to catch my breath sometimes. And apparently this whole tired thing is with me for the duration, that and the stuffed up nose. Didn't know about those two things. I tell ya, those nose strips work wonders. Even the drug store generic works great. It's so much cheaper too. Sandra told me about SinusBusters, it's a homeopathic treatment that is supposed to be okay for pregnant women. (as opposed to pregnant men?) But the first couple treatments burn like hell.

I'm waiting for the feather bed cover to dry and then I'm going to bed. It's not even 9pm but I've had it today. I didn't even get nearly all my work done, I'll have to crack down Friday & Saturday if I want to get it done by Tuesday.

At least it stopped snowing.

Ho Ho Ho

Well, we're back.

My family was very happy. We had wrapped up "I love grandma" and "I love grandpa" bibs and had my parents open them yesterday morning. There were tears and hugs and congratulations all round. And then, we had the family dinner and they all knew, it was great.

We had been at Tam & Derek's house the day before and Steven got to tell someone casually "I knocked up Lori". He's so proud of that. But according to him "they weren't his best swimmers" so y'know...

We went over to Bill & Dawn's tonight to meet Jenny and tell them our news. They were very happy for us. And we're very happy for them as well. We left a message for Helen, of course she wasn't home today. Steven talked to Barb earlier but we didn't have alot of time so we're going to call her tomorrow, probably after we drop off Dawna at the airport.

We'll have to make some plans for her to come back either this summer or fall to see the baby.

I'm so happy right now.

I'm also sick. We stopped at the store for some breathe strips so I can breathe tonight.

Been Tellin'

So, I told Al yesterday at work. I wasn't going to but he was discussing staffing and his solutions to covering two positions and how it's going well, and really I didn't want him to be bombarded when we came back in the new year. He didn't seem all that surprised but I think he's additionally stressed out.

I was a mad woman trying to get all my work done early; I did finish what I wanted to and brought the rest home so I could finish it next week while I'm off. I mean, I'll need something to do so I won't get bored.

Steven picked up Dawna from the airport, I couldn't get off work in time. Then he still had to putz about getting ready and then we went out to get something to eat at The Keg. Holy smokes was the service ever slow. It was pretty busy there but wah! The food was good. I was really stuffed up and getting more tired by the second. I was ready to crash when we got home but I didn't want to go to bed quite that early. As it is, I didn't really have a good sleep. Maybe I'll get some of those breathe right strips to unplug my nose and keep me from snoring.

My nose is still plugged and my throat is getting scratchy. Oh wonderful Nyquil, nectar of the gods, how I am going to miss you.

We're leaving later this morning... oh, better let Riley in before he faints from hunger... I am going to lay down in the back under some blankets and hopefully be able to sleep. We'll see. We're supposed to go to Tamara's sometime today and we'll tell her then. I can't wait, she'll be so excited. I'm not sure if we'll tell my family today or tomorrow. I don't want to tell them and then disappear to Tam's so we'll have to see. But then again, I don't want to be so rushed that we tell them tomorrow and then everyone shows up for dinner.

I'm going to have some toast and mull this one over. Any how, they'll know this weekend and I can start telling my friends. I told Steven he could choose how he told his family. He thought of sending a picture of the ultrasound to his mom, which is a great idea but my appt isn't until Jan 30 and that's kind of late. But this one's up to him.

Bad Karma

I parked at the Whitehorn train station the other day and I usually try & park at the end of the row. But there are some ass-wipes who feel it's okay to illegally park at the end of the rows. Which, when I park in the certain area makes it difficult for me to back up and when there are 2 illegal cars parked there, almost impossible. Anyway, I was parked in another area and this, this person parked so close to my driver's door that I had to climb in from the passenger side. So, in the famous words of Jen, I wrote a "strongly worded letter" to this knob. I am so lame, I told him/her that it was "bad karma" and "I'm pregnant so, I hope you feel really bad and think twice about where you park". I mean, really, if YOU received such words, wouldn't you be quaking in your boots?

Steven's been driving me to work these past two days, mostly because he's bored and awake when I'm leaving. However, I've been arriving at work at 645am, which is a little early for even me. Al even asked me "why are you here so early?".

Yesterday I wrote my final exam. I feel so much weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I did the very best that I could do. I am a little worried about one adjustment that I just didn't understand but I did my best and that's all I can ask of myself. It took me about 1hr, 45min to write and boy did I have a sore neck and was I ever tired and hungry!

Then Steven & I went to Sunridge mall to the maternity store. Bought my first pair of pants and a hoodie. Not so much maternity looking but the girl said it should last throughout the entire pregnancy, so that's nice. I'm not yet ready to make that step to buying a pair of pants with that stretchy band of fabric. Too weird for me still. I bought yoga/sweat pants. A step above pj pants, comfy yet okay to leave the house in! And we bought the last of the toys for the kids. Wrapped all the gifts last night. Even signed the cards with "from the Baby Bean". Big step.

Tonight is my last night of Food Hamper Depot. One less thing to worry about. Then I need to come home and finish cleaning the spare room, Dawna flies in tomorrow. And then we're hitting the road.

Last night I was reading Anne of Green Gable's "Anne's House of Dreams". I forgot that her first baby died shortly after birth. Holy shit, did I ever lose it. I cried and cried and cried. I may have even howled at one point. It was one of those sobbing, gasping for breathes kind of cries. Horrible. I had to read more just to calm myself down.

Oh, better get something to eat and go to the depot.

Week Ten

Still so very, very tired.

I fell asleep at lunch today. I was studying for my final on Wednesday afternoon, and I thought I'd just lay my head down for a minute. Yup, fell asleep; then was rudely awakened when the phone rang and then Liz buzzed me. It was Deb. By this time Deb may actually be reading...gasp! I told her. It felt good to finally tell a friend. She was happy for me but we couldn't really talk about it because my office door was wide open and you never know who could be walking by.

So... Hi Deb!

Tonight was the 2nd last Food Hamper night. There were 30 hampers; holy chaos tonight. Most were 1st time volunteers so there was a bit of confusion at the beginning but it all started rolling together quite nicely. I am glad there's only one more shift left. Frankly, this is making me extra tired!

Dropped off the Angels Anonymous gifts at Dairy Qu**n tonight. It's sad that there's so many tags still on the tree. If I could, I would grab them all and buy them gifts.

Dance Dance

I'm feeling pretty good this morning. I woke up around 9am and jumped on the treadmill and watched CSI while I walked. I've decided until I've got the boob pain under control, there will be no running program, it's too hard to run and hold them at the same time.

We met Murdo, Marie & Brent at the Trap & Gill last night. Lina was working so I didn't get to see her ring. I had so much fun. I can't even begin to describe the people dancing, no one had any rhythm. I wish I had my camera. So then my next thought was, "oh my gosh, is that what I look like when I dance?" Never in my life have I seen so many free spirited dancing guys. We were watching this one guy who was dancing by himself and having a grand ol time. Then he started circling this one group of dancing girls like he was stalking prey. He was waiting for the weak one to be separated and he'd pounce. It was funny. He was with a group of people where there was this one couple that was one of those May/December things. The guy was my age or possibly a bit younger and the woman had to be in her early/mid 40's. Not that there's anything wrong but she looked a bit harsh.

We ended up telling them that I was pregnant. Very happy for us.

Steven was talking on the way home that he understands what I'm going thru: tired, smells, nausea, feeling fat; it's because of all the changes. He's such a good guy, sometimes I don't give him enough credit. He thanked me for staying out so late last night.

I must conserve my energy today. It's his xmas party tonight. I hope the food is good. I also hope that my pants still fit.

Speaking of, I found this bella band product. It's this fabric tube that will a) help you keep your pants up but have them unbuttoned, b) help you keep your too large pants on c) give support to a growing belly. I figure anything that lets me hang onto wearing my dress clothes for awhile longer has got to be a good thing. I told Liz about them and she agreed. If we have to go to the mall today, I'll maybe pop into the one maternity store that I know about and see if they have it. I was looking in the yellow pages yesterday and there's not alot of maternity stores and there's only one in the northeast. Well, speciality ones anyway. I don't know if the department stores carry these kinds of things. They must.

We are 10 weeks pregnant with The Bean.

You're Phat

One of my worries is that I'll go to Dr.S for my first appt and he'll say (all scornfully) "you're not pregnant, you're just a fat ass".
I went shopping at lunch to try and find a pair of jeans or dress pants that fit. Not so much. The plus sizes are way too big (everywhere) and the regular sizes are either too tight are just fit, meaning I'd be able to wear them for about 2 weeks.
I've been feeling loads better. I'm not quite so nauseous anymore. I'm exhausted but not all the time. So I'm going to get this fat ass in gear and get back on the treadmill. I can tell that I'm getting (am) out of shape already. Just walking up and down the stairs at the train station is kicking me. How sad.
We're going out with Murdo & Marie tonight. Meeting them at The Trap & Gill on Macleod Trail. We're going to eat there and listen to the band, apparently they know one of the band members. Hopefully Brent & Lina will be there too. I'm not sure how long we'll be there for, I get so tired and it's smoking so I'm not really looking forward to that. I mean it grosses me out at the best of times but it really makes you think twice about subjecting The Bean to that smoke.
I should grab something to snack on otherwise I'm never going to make it until 8pm.

Another Day, Another...

Ugh. I'm so tired. I'm sitting here waiting for my Christmas poems to print so I can sign them, stuff the envelopes and mail the cards. One more thing finished.

Another Food Hamper night, Steven even came to help me out. I'm not even sure what to make of this one volunteer. He comes up and asks me "Do you like Chinese Food?", so I say "Of course" and then he says with a big smile, "of course you do" and starts laughing. Alright, either way he's totally making fun of me. He's either making fun of the fact that I'm fat or that I'm asian. I just didn't know what to say. I still don't. So I stopped talking to him for the entire shift.

One more bullet to dodge. Tomorrow is our "girl's lunch" with Al & Laurie (boss and wife). It's at the buffet at the PClub, but I'll have to avoid drinking and the suspiciousness of not drinking. Gah, I curse the fact that I was such a lush at previous lunches. Damn it. I'll have to start the day with accounting to add credibility to my story. I hate lying.

I had my dentist appointment this morning. Cleaning & check up; both went well. Changed my name, added Steven's insurance and told Tracy, the hygenist, that I'm pregnant. She asked me about medical conditions, medication etc... I didn't know what to say.

I'm still super cold all the time.

My pants are getting tighter and tighter. My sweaters and blouses are getting tighter and tighter. I'm going to have to buy more clothes but I really don't want to spend the money until I get alot bigger but in the meantime what am I supposed to do? ARG.

I was super sick yesterday and frankly, I was more than a little scared. I was getting massive stomach pains and stabbing like pains across my belly/abdomen. It was so bad I was crying (and Riley was very worried about me) and I was getting frightened that something may be wrong with the baby. I'm not positive but I think it's okay, there wasn't any bleeding or anything, my stomach hurts a bit today but not as badly and still no bleeding. I just feel so alone right now.

Week Nine

Joy from Dr.B's office called to let me know when my appt was with Dr. S. Not until Jan 29. I don't know, should I be concerned that I'll be nearly 4 months pregnant before I see the doctor? That seems well, not quite right. I just have all these questions and general freaking out that I feel the doctor should be there for me to talk to. Then she also made an ultrasound appointment for Jan 30. I'm not sure if Steven is working or not and he doesn't have his shift for the new year yet but that is definitely an appointment that he needs to be there for. I mean, the first ultrasound, that's HUGE. I'm supposed to advise the tech before we start whether or not I want a picture (of course) and it's $10.

This pregnancy doesn't seem quite real without the multiple doctor appointments. Am I being paranoid or feeling just ignored? I don't quite know what the right thing is. Should I be content or am I not being taken care of? I asked Joy and she seemed to feel it was normal but I think Liz has been to the doctor a couple of times already.

I like bacon...

Monday December 4, 2006

8 weeks pregnant.
I am so tired. On Saturday I woke up early-ish (around 8am), watched all the TV shows that I’d taped throughout the week and then thought I would start to clean the house, went upstairs to lay down and woke up 2 hours later. Steven went out and I started cleaning. We watched Ice Age 2 and had dinner and chicken wings. Okay, not really liking the hot stuff anymore. Almost fell asleep during the movie. Then on Sunday, slept in a bit, took Rye out for a walk; home to rest.

We went to Russ' birthday party yesterday. So much fun. The kids were all dressing up and putting on a fashion show, it's much funnier once you realize that the girls were dressing up the boys. I love digital cameras. I laughed so much, they were telling so many stories about kids and school and homework. And Michelle & Jeff, were also married at The Elvis Chapel, I can't remember when... maybe 10 years ago? They had the fat, older Elvis. I like going to visit the McNeil's, the friends that are more like family. We need to plan to see the lights, not sure if we'll have time before Christmas, probably not.

Tuesday December 5, 2006

We were watching TV the other day and cruised past the Food Network, there was this guy frying up bacon and that's all we heard... "I like bacon"... but it was in this weird voice, sort of like the voice we imagine that Riley has. So that's been our catch phrase lately.

Still exhausted.
Last night I rushed home from work, saw Steven, ate dinner and headed over to the Food Bank Depot. Not as difficult as I imagined. Not sure how I managed to stay awake. I feel badly, everyone thinks that I’m still so sick but I’m not really, just can’t manage to get enough sleep. And I just get annoyed over everything, it’s taking a lot out of me to be friendly lately.

It's only 754pm and I'm trying to stay awake until at least 830pm otherwise I'm scared that I'll just wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to fall back asleep. Although, maybe on Friday I'll test that theory out and go to bed at 7pm.

Plus I'm still freezing. It's not just the house, which granted is always cold but I'm colder than normal. Usually my fat acts quite nicely as insulation but lately, man oh man I just cannot get warm enough.

Tomorrow we're going Christmas shopping right after work. I already got Cindy a gc from Patti, the card stamping person/saleslady/Dawna's old friend and I'm going to get my parents a gc from Safeway and we bought the camera for Dawna, which I totally lied about. It's a nicer camera than ours...hmm. So we need to send Helen some cash, buy gifts for the McNeil's and I need to buy my work Secret Santa gift. Hopefully I can find it again. It's a coffee mug that says "Everyone is entitled to my opinion". It's for Tom and I think it's perfect. I just need to find something extra to put in it. Kelly said she'd help me if I couldn't find it because she's going to hit Southcentre & Chinook later this week. I had plans to do my Christmas letter/poem but I just can't seem to stay awake to do it. I guess I'll have to try during my lunch hour tomorrow since I have no other alternative but to stay awake. Heaven forbid I fall asleep at work, I'd never wake up in time to go home! I was toying with the idea of postponing the Christmas letter/poem until the first week of January and using that to announce the pregnancy to most everybody. I'll throw the idea by Steven and see what he thinks. I hope he calls soon so I can go to bed.

Tattle Tale

Well, I told Liz. It was so nice to be able to talk to someone about this pregnancy, especially someone who's going thru the same things. I was right and Kelly thinks that I'm pregnant, if she asks me again, I'm going to deny, deny, deny. I'm not sure why I told Liz, maybe because she's also quite early in her pregnancy and we're both a little scared.
We're going to go for lunch when she gets back from Mexico next week.

The Sickness

Oh, Where do I start?
We went to Q Haute for our Xmas dinner on Thursday night. It was at 630pm and kind of a waste for me to go all the way back home and return so I stayed downtown. Worked a bit late, tried to calculate how to dodge the "appearance" of drinking scenario and talked with Liz who also stayed downtown. (more on that later)
We had virgin drinks. I had a virgin caesar much to the chagrin of the waiter who couldn't understand why I wasn't drinking. And I feel really bad but they told me it was only a difference of $1 but I had them mark it down as a real drink. Ah yes, so tricky I am.
I'm not sure exactly when it happened during the evening but I felt so ill. So very ill. I had to leave the table and I got sick but that didn't help. The room was so cold, we're talking cold to the bone kind of cold. And the soup wasn't tasting right nor was the texture doing it for me. And then my entree, beef tenderloin so good, so soft but after a couple bites I thought I was going to hurl again. The smells were absolutely killing me and again the taste & texture were freaking me out. Damn it, I couldn't even eat my yummy Tiramasu.
Tom was really kind, he kept on asking if I wanted to leave and that we could leave at any time to just let him know. We left right after dessert. Thank goodness he's got heated seats and he went to get his car and waited for me by the door AND he didn't even smoke when he drove me home. What a gentleman. I wonder if he senses something?
I sat in front of the heater when I got home, gave Steven a quite recap of the night, turned on the electric blanket and got ready for bed. The bed was nice & toasty but of course, I have to shut the blanket off before I get in. I was still super cold that 1/2 way thru the night I woke up and went to get the fuzzy warm blanket, cocooned myself in it and under the other blankets and went back to bed. Am I going to be cold this entire pregnancy?
I did learn a valuable lesson... don't have spicy (caesar) on an empty stomach and don't wait so long between eating. I ate dinner around 8pm.
Last night Steven picked me up at the train station (around 5pm) so we could price cameras for Dawna and we didn't get home until about 710pm. I was starting to feel the same way. The last time I had eaten was my orange around 2pm.

Green in the Face

Tuesday November 28, 2006
-29°C
A few clouds
FEELS LIKE -41°C
WIND NW 17 km/h
GUSTS
RELATIVE HUMIDITY 56%
DEWPOINT -35°C
PRESSURE 102.95 kPa
VISIBILITY 24 km
CEILING unlimited
No wonder I’m so cold. I’m in my office & I have the heater full blast and my door shut to keep the heat in. I feel a little sick to my stomach. I had an English muffin w/peanut butter earlier and it’s not really sitting that well. You know, I haven’t gained any weight since I found out. Which is a good thing. I am quite conscious of everything that I’ve been eating. Not too much junk food, hardly any snacking at night after dinner but then again, I’ve been going to bed so early that there’s really no time to snack. Although last night we were sitting in the family room, Steven had a nice toasty fire going and after dinner we ate some corn chip hoop things. I was laying down with my head on Steven’s leg and he was feeding me. Sounds romantic, no? Not particularly when you realize as opposed to feeding them to me one by one, he was shoving them in my mouth as fast as he could and then started on my nostrils.
Jen was commenting on the fact that since Liz announced, she now knows about 3 pregnant women. I just mentally sang… “four”.
It’s killing me that I can’t tell anyone.

Wednesday November 30, 2006

Between morning sickness, having a cold and general exhaustion, I called in sick today. I would have slept much longer but Steven called me around 10am... bastard. He called to see how I was doing and then recommended that I watch Regis. I hate that show, I can't understand why he likes it so much. Then I hauled my tired & sorry ass down to the living room and curled under my blankie, in front of the super Costco heater and watched a couple TV shows that I taped.

I found some energy in the early afternoon to grab some stuff at the grocery store and then Rye & I went to a friend's place to check it out. Came home and fell back into the recliner. Just that trip (about 1/2 hour) wiped me OUT. So I warmed up and did some studying. I figured that my brain wasn't sick, just my body. I.AM.SO.TIRED. When am I going to get my energy back?

Did I mention that we had a meeting at work yesterday? I feel so bad that they don't know that I'm pregnant. Although, it's not going to be a big surprise when I announce it, the big surprise will be my due date... 3 wks after Liz. eep.

I need to go to bed. I need to sleep.

Freaking Cold

I've been trying to teach Rye to say "baby". Meh, he's smart but it doesn't sound anything like it. He's more or less speaking when we say "baby". His butt is almost too big to sit on the steps.

I asked Steven if he could put the railings up on the stairs, just thinking of the future. I mean right now I slide down the wall in the morning but I figure that when I get bigger I'll need something to hang onto when I walk down the stairs. So Steven asked me if he put it up, then it would just be something that I'd grab when I tripped and ripped it out the wall and tumbled down the stairs. He's so optimistic of my gracefulness, no?

It was -25 today with a wind chill of -38. Holy crap. Steven took my truck on his errands today so I took the bus. Actually I might tomorrow too but I'll wear the big purple coat. Be damned if it's too small. My legs were so cold when I was waiting for the bus that was LATE.

I am absolutely exhausted.

I wanted to study tonight but I really can't concentrate and it's all I can do to stay awake until 8pm so I can go to bed.

I ate alot today but I wasn't stuffed or anything. I should have drank more water, I think I may have overheated in the office this afternoon in my wool sweater. My pants are definitely getting tighter. I can only wear 3 pairs of pants, slowly turning into one.

I wonder if people just think that I'm getting fatter.

Other Stuff

I was going to try & sleep in today but I can't, I guess I'm done sleeping. I need to take Steven's car in to get the tire fixed. I hate driving his car so I'm going at 8am, hopefully they are open. He drove my truck to work.

Yesterday I left work early so I could volunteer at the Church with Inn from the Cold. I helped set up, prepare & serve dinner. Not much to do with preparation, it was mostly done. Sort of depressing when the people came, at least this time there weren't any younger children but still there were some teenagers and it makes you wonder. It's different when it smacks you right in the face, there goes I but for the grace of God. I think that I'll help with the set-up, and cleaning and laundry but I don't think that I'll do the dinner again. There wasn't much that I could help with. Maybe because there were too many of us.

It's uber cold this weekend. Supposed to be -27. WTF? I wish I could start a fire.

This pregnancy doesn't seem real yet.

I asked Steven last night if he wanted to find out "what kind of baby it was"... so he asked me if I had a black one so I said it my most horrible accent... "I would like an East Indian baby, please." We're such dorks.

I wonder when Dr. S's office will call me to come in. I wonder what will happen. I wonder when we have an ultrasound.

I got some more books. Right now I'm reading Mother of All Pregnancy Books and while it's good and has more Canadian content, I don't like it as much as the first one.

Oh yeah, and I asked Liz and her due date is June 22, 2007, so she's 3 & a bit weeks ahead of me. I know Al's head is going to explode.

We're still thinking that Steven will stay home with the baby. We'll see, there's also the alternative that I work part-time work/part-time home. I just don't know what we can do yet. We do know that we're going to split up the parental leave. The first part of I'll be by myself, then we'll do together and then he'll be on his own.

Updates

Monday November 20, 2006
I’m so tired this morning. Walking from my truck to the train. Walking from the train to the office. Exhausting.
And I was so cold this morning too.
I’m wearing this old burgundy dress shirt (that I have from when I was fatter), and I’m not even tucking it in. It’s not that I can’t, it’s just more comfortable.
I really wish that I was able to lose this weight before I got pregnant. But what will be, will be.
I looked up the pregnancy calendar. If you input the first day of your last menstrual period, it automatically calculates all these handy dandy dates.
Conception: October 22, 2006
1st Heartbeat: November 18, 2006
Holy shit, that was Saturday. First heartbeat.
I’m on week 6.
My 12th week is December 30th; so I guess I’ll let work know when I come back from xmas holidays. And since Dawna’s coming, we’re going to Lethbridge, I suppose we’ll let everyone know then.
I talked to Dawna last night. It took all my power to not tell her. I think this is the first time I’ve talked to her since I found out. It was a weird disjointed conversation because I was concentrating so hard on NOT telling her.
I really want to tell Liz too, so we can share this time. But it’s just not right. Not yet.
I feel like throwing up. I was so hungry on my way to work. Ate my oatmeal, am drinking peppermint tea and willing myself not to puke. And I’m still exhausted. I’m inputting these numbers on the spreadsheet and the scrolling is making me dizzy.
Thursday November 23, 2006
I am so cold.
Yesterday it was –21. We went to Darrin’s last night to go over some house stuff while he’s gone and I wore my long big puffy purple coat. Steven (& Darrin) laughed at me. But man, I was freezing. I even curled up under my jacket while we were at Darrin’s.
Joy from Dr. B’s office called me yesterday. She wanted me to pickup some forms because I need to get some bloodwork done before seeing Dr. S, she couldn’t fax them or email them so since Steven had an appt. with Dr. B for some unrelated things but I had asked him to pick up the forms. Anyway, Joy & Steven were chit chatting and I think she said something like did Lori tell her boss that she was pregnant? And Steven said “Lori’s pregnant? What?” And on & on, totally playing her. He kept it up for a couple minutes. I’m not sure if she whacked him but if she didn’t, she should have. Poor Joy. Although, it was pretty funny.
So instead of lying, I just stated that I needed to go to the lab this afternoon. And left it at that. Normally I would try & do it over a lunch hour but today I have a massage at lunch and I was going to work thru lunch tomorrow because I need to leave early to volunteer with Inn From the Cold at the Church. I suppose, if anyone asks I’ll just say it’s because of this reoccurring throat problem. Technically my throat is still bothering me. And that will fit in quite nicel with my whole “can’t drink because I’m on medication” story at the Christmas party. And then I’ll have to concoct a “must do accounting, so can’t drink” story for the lunch on Dec 14th that Al’s taking us out to.
Today it snowed. The roads weren’t too bad. I slid a bit but I think on the way home, it might be bad. I’ll just go slow. It’s warmer today compared to yesterday. But I have my heater on and my sweater on and I’m still cold.
so I went to the lab to get some bloodwork done this afternoon. Drat my wimpy shy veins. They poked me with the needle in my right arm and then she moved it around a bit. Then she went to get some help. The new lady used a butterfly and poked my left arm and moved it around, started getting some blood and then it stopped. Then she decided to try the top of my left hand with the butterfly. Poke, move & wiggle… success! Slow but steady, 3 vials of blood. By the end I was all sweaty and clammy. I hate getting blood taken because it’s always such an ordeal about finding a good vein.

Friday November 24, 2006

The bruise on my left arm is even worse today.
I told Kelly, my massage person, yesterday that I was pregnant. It just came out when she was putting the heating thing (it’s not a pad, I’m not sure what it is) anyway,. When she was putting it on my abdomen. I suppose I just could have said that I didn’t want it there. Whatever.
I was feeling my stomach area last night and I think it feels different. I mean it doesn’t just feel like fat. Or I could have just been bloated from the milk. One of the two.
Threw up again this morning. This time it was in the alley behind the garage. Lovely.
I wasn’t over tired or exhausted yesterday either. Quite a nice change.

Where did my brain go?

I swear I'm going to lose my job or my mind. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't concentrate and it's killing me.

I finished reading A Beginner's Guide to Pregnancy. Pretty good. Was going to the library at lunch today but got caught up doing work stuff. Maybe tomorrow.

I've noticed after lunch (which I ate at 11am) I got sick. Not puking sick but sick to my stomach kind of sick. Same thing after dinner. And I didn't really eat that much. It's like the food is just sitting there like a lump at the bottom of my tummy.

I walked on the treadmill tonight. I'm wearing this sports bra that not only is giving me a uni-boob but because they hurt so much, is making them hurt more but not bounce. I still have to kind of hold them when I walk down the stairs. Hopefully I stop myself if I'm out in public, but really, you never know.

Another Day, Another ....

I don't know, another what?

I'm so exhausted. I almost fell asleep on the train, at work, on the train home and then in my truck. Between that and the nausea, I don't know how I'm going to make it without falling asleep or puking on someone at work.

I've noticed this smell, when I'm pulling into the garage, this... I don't know what it is but it's a distinctive smell when the garage door is open.

I must sleep.

So tired

I went to Church this morning, I really like Rev. Dave he's not all mumbo jumbo religious but fairly straight forward and realistic.

Then I went grocery shopping. I AM EXHAUSTED. I could seriously take a nap right now. Have to go make some lunch because I am also hungry. Probably going to watch Da Vinci Code in bed this afternoon. I was going to make some calls re: Xmas Food Hamper but being so tired would make that ridiculous. Same goes for homework.

Not quite real

I went to the Library this morning to get some pregnancy books. Surreal.

Then on my errands, I wanted to pick up a journal so I could start a "real" (paper) journal for the baby and maybe buy a baby book. It doesn't seem real though. It's like perhaps I'm making this up and I'm just a big fat faker. I couldn't find the pregnancy section at Chapters so I had to ask and the lady asked me if I wanted infertility, to conceive, after pregnancy? So I lowered my voice, looked both ways (shiftily) and said "being pregnant". It felt like I was an imposter. I looked thru all these books and I just don't know what to get. So I guess I'll review some books from the library, pick my favourite and buy that one. Chapter's didn't have any nice journals so I'll use the "okay" one that I got at Zeller's. It will serve it's purpose quite nicely.

But it's 3pm and all I've had was some toast and oj so I'm off to forage for food.

It wasn't the sausage roll

Dinner last night was great. We met Pat & Oliver at Ouzo and as always they are highly entertaining. We ordered many appetizers and then split two entrees and two desserts. Side note to them: it wasn't the sausage roll that put me over the edge, it was a combination of eating different foods and all the different smells. My taste buds are definitely different. One minute it is tasting okay and then not so much. But the smells. Oh my gosh. We went to the Ironwood in Inglewood (actually we went to A Bar Named Sue first but it was at capacity and got turned away) and the smells were killing me and making me even more sick to my stomach. I could smell vomit, I could smell the food at a couple of tables away... it was awful. I might have to find my smelly lip balms to compensate.

Here's the kicker to entire night. After bitching to Steven about how nauseous I was feeling and how sensitive I was to smells, we came home and as soon as we opened the back door, we were hit with this...this... STINK. Out of the ordinary Riley stink. So I let him out and we went to investigate. Steven calls me from the upstairs bathroom..."oh my god, come here. You have to see this". Riley had some exploding diahhrea. On the plus side, it was in the bathroom on the tiles but it was everywhere on the floor. blech. Yeah, and guess who had to clean it up. A minute or so of retching and I was washing the floor and then bleaching the floor. Bastard.

I asked Liz how far along she was and she's 9 weeks as of yesterday.

I can't imagine telling anyone at work yet. Although, I'm pretty sure I may be "outed" at the Christmas party. I'm going to have to remember to start playing sick on the Tuesday/Wednesday prior.

Can't stop thinking...

So, I can't talk about this to anyone and it's KILLING ME!!!! I guess for the time being, I'll just have to pour out my thoughts here. I just want to grab random people and tell them that I'm pregnant.

Today I was looking up random things and I found this site that chronicles the weeks of pregnancy and what to expect and the progression of the baby. It was really interesting. Then I made the mistake of reading some message boards and people were posting about miscarriages and what not. It made me cry and I had to stop reading.

Then I read an article about pets and new babies. That was especially interesting. I guess the Calgary Health Region holds a course something like New Baby, Old Pet... once the Rye-guy figures out that baby's are a wealth of unexpected treats, well, I'm sure they'll be best pals. Although, the baby will probably stink like Riley breath. Ewww.

My breasts are so sore. I couldn't run on the treadmill w/out holding them. (sorry, I know too much info) and things are metallic tasting or just "off". AND I'm totally not imagining these symptons because I noticed it last week. I'm also exhausted today but that might be because it was super windy last night. But I felt like I slept like a log.

I just contacted a bunch of people re: Xmas Hamper program. I should be doing homework right now but I did some at work. Tomorrow at lunch I'll be calling more Xmas Hamper volunteers and then I'll finish my chapter 6 this weekend.

Tomorrow night we're meeting Pat & Oliver for dinner at a greek place. Yum. Flaming Cheese. Does it get any better? I'm not sure how easy it will be not to drink but ... well, that came out all wrong. I mean, I usually have a drink when we go out with friends, it will just be weird not to. And I'm not even sure what you're supposed to be drinking. Can I have diet soda? I should probably check. Or not be quite so anal this early on.

Well, I should get my ass out of this chair and do something productive.

Welcome, the rabbit is SO dead.

By the time I give this link out this post will be about 3 months old. But I'm hoping people will enjoy reading about the early stages.

I went to Dr. B today and I'm pregnant.

Let me backtrack.

I took a home pregnancy test on Monday November 13th. It was positive. I shed a few tears but really, I took the test not thinking that I'd actually be pregnant. I was in shock. Steven was sleeping (was on night shift) so I couldn't go jump on him & tell him. AND I couldn't call anyone because 1) I didn't want to tell and 2) Steven should be the first one to know. I did call the doctor's office to make an appointment to confirm.

After he woke up (around 5pm) and AFTER he had his coffee (I'm not that cruel) I told him. I'm not sure if he said anything for a couple of minutes.

I took another test when I woke up on Tuesday morning. Still positive.

I don't even know how I made it thru yesterday at work without exploding the news out.

Alright, which leads up to today. My appointment was for 1150am. I had to lie and say I was going for an early lunch. (then I had to lie to Kelly & Liz again to say that the service was so slow that I didn't get lunch to explain why I had to eat when I came back) Anyway, I thought that I would see Dr. B and he would examine me and send me off for some tests and then I'd have to book another appointment (more lies) to confirm. I was wrong. I checked in with the desk, they sent me to pee in a cup, I came back with my pee cup and was sitting in the exam room. Dr. B comes in and says "congratulations" "are you happy"? "you were trying, right?" And I tell him that I'm not sure if I'm happy yet because I don't know positively and are those tests accurate... and then he tells me "well, three tests are positive." THREE? Yup, apparently they do a test there. I cried. And my mind was going a million miles a minute. He asked me if I calculated my due date. Ummm, no. How in the world do you do that? JULY 16, 2007. I'm about 5 weeks pregnant right now. Well, technically 3 or so from conception.

oh my gosh. oh my gosh. oh my gosh.

We're going to be parents.

I'm so scared.

I'm not sure how I made it thru work this afternoon. I can't even tell you what I did.

Speaking of work, Liz announced that she was pregnant last week. She's due June 29, 2007. I'm pretty sure Al's head is going to explode when I tell him. We (the girls) went out for a celebratory lunch on Tuesday. Had to do some fast talking about why I didn't have a drink. I really don't know what I'm going to do about the Christmas Party. Al's already said that he's going to watch to see if and when I'm drinking. I'm going to have to do some pretty fast talking or get "sick" and be on "medication" that prohibits me from alcohol. I hate lying.

I "chatted" with Tamara today. Killed me not to tell her. I can't wait to tell her.

I came home from work and told Steven. I think he's a bit freaked out. No, I KNOW he's freaked out. But he's happy, I know he is.

I'm just hoping & praying that everything goes well for us.

oh yeah, Dr. B won't be my ob-gyn. I guess he stopped doing deliveries in the early '90s. Darn it. And you can pick which hospital. Of course I picked Peter Lougheed.

I better get to my homework.

I can't wait to tell people. I guess no-one will know until the middle of January. I'm pretty sure they'll try & guess at work tho'.