I Wish I Wish I Wish

I wish that I could look in the mirror and be happy with my reflection.

I have gained so much weight that it is pathetic. PATHETIC.

I know that you probably don't want to read about this but tough, I need to be accountable somewhere. Originally I was going to start another one but then it would just be strangers. And at the end of the day, strangers aren't going to hold me accountable. You are. My friends and my family.

I'm not crazy. I am nowhere near ready to tell you what I weigh. Frankly I haven't stepped on a scale in months and months. Possibly even a year. But I'm pretty sure that I'm close to my highest weight ever.

Highest Weight Ever. I could cry.

And it's not even over the past year. It's been slowly creeping on. But this past year has been awful. It's like I didn't care that I was gaining weight.

I've had some personal setbacks over the past couple of years. Some you know about and some you don't. The ones that you don't know about, well, I'm quite unlikely to divulge it here. Far too private.

*shock* I know. Too private?

But anyway, these setbacks have kind of been 1 step forward, 3 steps back, 1 step forward, 2 steps back and then kicks you in the back of the knees to bring you down and then jumps up & down on your back while you're on the ground. Then laughs & points at you while you're crying on the floor. Maybe even takes pictures of you and then posts them on FB to show how much of an jerk the setback is. (And no, "setback" isn't an alias for a person)

I am announcing right here, right now that I will get off my fat ass. I need to do something before I have to get John to learn how to tie my shoes so I won't have to bend down anymore.