Blue Monday by definition is the most depressing day of the year. And that would be yesterday. Although, it is starting to piece together now. I've been fairly sad lately. Maybe in all the excitement of the holidays I let myself forget about all the crap going on in my head. And work has been extremely busy but good busy so I haven't had time to over analyze stuff or anything like that.
I've been really stressed at work and I think it may be becoming too much for me. It may have tipped the scales from being a good stress reliever to contributing to my stress and sadness factor.
I appreciate going to work, having a good job. Being able to provide for our family and having the ability to be able to choose to have one of us stay at home.
Something has got to give. And at this point, I'm not exactly sure what is going to happen. I may have a breakdown.
I'm just giving you all fair warning.
Do you know what is making me hang on?
Knowing that I have this in my life. Knowing that this IS my life.
I'm just tired of being sad. I'm tired of pretending that everything is okay. Do you know what? I don't have it all together. I don't fucking care anymore what you think. I need to put myself first and everyone else be damned.
It's a new year. You better watch yourself because I sure as hell am not going to. I'm done being nice. I just want to be happy again.
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