Overheard

Steven & I were brainstorming on how we could get Riley into the hospital to visit my mom. And he came up with the brilliant idea of pretending to be blind and that Riley was a service dog. Which would work up until Rye starting bolting down the hallway dragging Steven behind him and knocking down poor unsuspecting patients. Anyway, that's not the funny part. Later that week I was telling my Uncle Nobby the story. We talked about that and then we (me, Uncle, Auntie Rosie & Dawna) were chatting about other stuff (another funny). Then out of the blue, Uncle Nobby blurts out ..."Your dog is blind?"

Same uncle, same day, same conversation. My mom has a heart condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. It is a genetic condition. All close relatives must get tested periodically. So Dawna asked Uncle Nobby (my mom's brother) if he had the same heart condition. And he answered "No, just with the women". So we thought he was being charming and meant that the women gave his heart palpitations. Apparently he meant the heart condition was more prevalent in females!

Same uncle, same day, different conversation. I needed to go to the bank to get more money so I asked him where the closest RBC was. It's been ages since I've done any kind of banking in my hometown so I didn't know where anything was. He's trying to tell me where it is and then his eyes light up and he bursts out with "it's right beside the Gas King. Yes, the Gas King". So I look him squarely in the eye and ask "ok, now where is the Gas King?"

So we were at my parent's yesterday and today. Last night we were watching TV with my dad and I swear I could see Steven's head starting to smoke.

My dad has the remote and is flipping channels....

slowly...

very, very slowly...

Steven: you're going too slowly

still flipping channels

Steven: Jim...you're going too slowly...give me the remote

my dad still flipping channels slowly.

and then he stops.

on the french station.

and he's still on the french station.

Steven: Jim...you don't even speak french. Give me the remote.

And he got up, walked across the room and grabbed the remote.

And then my cousin told me a funny one about her dad. Different uncle.

My other cousin lives in a gated community. They were telling their dad about this gated community. They were talking. My aunt and uncle were quiet. And then he asked..."he lives in a gay community?"